My Decision to Transfer

This is going to be a very long post, and it is one that is not easy for me to share, but I really want my story to be told correctly, and directly from me.

If you have been following my blog for sometime, you know that I have been studying journalism at Ole Miss for the past 2-½ years. Ole Miss really is a fantastic school; it just is not the school for me. So here is my story on why I decided to transfer…

College is something you look forward to basically your whole life. You dream about where you’re going to go, what clubs/sorority you will join, all the amazing friends you will meet, as well as all the boys you will meet until you meet Mr. Right (yeah, right!), I could go on and on about the fantasies I had about college. I couldn’t wait to go off to college!

I knew my sophomore year of high school that I wanted to go to Ole Miss for college. From then on, I had my mind set on it, and that was the only place I would be in August of 2013. My parents graciously supported my dream of Ole Miss, even if it was six hours away and they would be paying out-of-state tuition. They believed it was all worth it because it was my dream.

I have a huge, beautiful family. The most amazing family in the world! I knew it was going to be hard to leave them and to leave my beloved hometown of Pensacola. Staying was never an option, though. I was told ever since I was little how important it was to get away for college, so that’s exactly what I did. I moved six hours away to the cutest little town, Oxford, Mississippi.

So what happens when college is not all that you expected? I was home sick and felt very out of place, but I was a freshman, that is how you’re supposed to feel, right?  Sophomore year I felt a little better, I had a group of friends that were really great, but still something wasn’t quite right. I just ignored the feeling, I knew it would go away at some point, I had everything in the world I needed! My freshman year I joined a sorority and I don’t regret joining, I met really amazing girls, but I see now I’m not your typical sorority girl—it just wasn’t for me. After my sophomore year I dropped, though I wasn’t worried, it made me feel empowered.

Junior year I still felt that knot in my chest, I was constantly counting down the days until I could go home again. I never thought of transferring home, I didn’t think it was an option. I always thought I would just have to endure it until graduation. This is not how a normal college student should be acting! For all of you thinking, you should have just gone out more, you’re wrong. I’m not the type who likes to go out all the time, but when I do go out, I always have fun. I had some great times at Ole Miss, but I just never felt complete. I missed my family, but it was more than that. I felt like I didn’t have a purpose, I was aching to do more than just school work and going out. I wanted to want to do something, but it seemed all I could do was stay in my apartment all day watching movies or doing homework.

I finally had a come to Jesus moment in October of 2015. I was sitting in one of my classes and I remember thinking, I can’t do this, I can’t stay here another year or two. I was suddenly filled with terror. These past two years I was just waiting to feel like a normal college student, but honestly, I was just in denial about how unhappy I was. I remember coming back to my apartment and breaking down to my roommate. I then called my mom and told her I wanted to come home. After that phone call, my mind was made. I would transfer to the University of West Florida and continue my journalism degree. Never in a million years did I see myself going to UWF, but now it all seems so perfect.

This was not an easy decision for me, and I didn’t take it lightly. It took a lot of convincing to get my family on board and ensure them I was doing this 100% for me and it was my decision alone. Before this, I had never shared my feelings on Ole Miss with anyone, so it kind of came as a shock, but at the same time I think deep down everyone knew how unhappy I was.

So to make this long, long story a little shorter… I have just finished my second week at UWF and I love it! Such a great atmosphere and I am really getting to know my professors and classmates on a level that I haven’t before. I think all along what I really needed was a smaller school where I could feel more comfortable and really thrive. I am working part-time at my family business, but I just applied for a job outside of the family, so fingers crossed! Most importantly, I feel like myself again. The anxiety I would always have about going back to school or being away is now gone. I am not embarrassed to say I transferred home, and I don’t care what other people have to say. I will be moving in to a house of my own next month, and I am thrilled! I look forward to the future and all I will learn. I look forward to growing as a person. I am happy!

I don’t want to make it seem like my experience at Ole Miss was awful and I was miserable the whole time, because that simply isn’t the case. I met wonderful, wonderful people there and I had great times with them. I just figured out I would be happier if I wasn’t there anymore.

I want to thank my parents for allowing me to fulfill my dream of attending Ole Miss. I learned so much and really grew up. It is an experience I am very thankful for and I am humbled by all the lessons I have learned. I also want to thank my parents for allowing me to change my mind, supporting me in my wishes to transfer, I know it wasn’t easy for y'all either. Thank you to everyone who has supported me along this journey and continuing to support me!

 

Thanks for reading, I know it was long, but I am glad I finally was able to say what I wanted to say!
xo,

claudia